Monday 17th February is Random Acts of Kindness Day. As the title implies, it’s a day to encourage us to show unexpected generosity to others. I’m all in favour of it. For one thing, like all of us, I’ve benefited from such unexpected acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. For another, there is a sense in which ‘random acts of kindness’ echo God’s great gift of grace in Jesus. In fact, God’s grace is not only an unexpected act of kindness; it’s utterly undeserved. We read in Romans 5:8, ‘But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us’ (NIV). Now that’s kindness!
So, I’m in favour of undeserved kindness because it’s an expression of the grace by which all Christians must live. But kindness is also an important virtue. As we all know, modern society is like a vast complex machine with endlessly interlocking gears that often operate in a noisy and harsh way. Kindness is the oil that makes it move just a little bit more smoothly.
I’m also in favour of kindness because I think it’s under threat. In an age where economy and efficiency are the rules by which things are supposed to work, we need to maintain kindness. One of the problems of reaching a certain age is that the past is not just ‘a different country’ but all too often a better country. Yet viewing the past as honestly as I can, it does seem to have been a kinder place. In my memory, I hear people asking, ‘Can I help you?’, ‘You look lost. Can I guide you?’, ‘Can I carry that shopping for you?’ or even, ‘Would you like my seat?’ I feel such questions are far rarer today.
You will not be surprised to know that I place a great deal of blame for the decline in kindness on the increasing loss of a ‘Christian culture’. The Christian gospel demands that we show love to strangers. Certainly, if your Christian faith excludes the desire to be kind to people, I think you’ve got problems. Yes, there are times and situations where kindness may not be the most appropriate response. I think of those in public service who are manifestly failing to serve the public, bureaucrats who try to frustrate rather than enable, and those in marketing who try to sell us what we don’t need or want. My ‘milk of human kindness’ runs particularly sour with those who phone up with the intent of transferring the contents of our bank accounts into theirs!
Yet I think there are other contributory problems to the scarcity of kindness these days. It is quite simply that the concept of ‘community’ – of belonging with others – is actually vanishing. Sadly, and sometimes tragically, we are seeing disintegration through isolation. We’ve all heard stories about how, after some tragedy, police inquiries have revealed that no one knew who their neighbour was. Looking back, I feel that in my youth I was part of a community. For better or worse, we knew people – neighbours, friends or even relatives – and were known by them. There was bonding and connecting through all life’s triumphs and tragedies. Notice boards or newsletters carried announcements of fetes, choirs, contests, dramatic societies and gardening clubs that invited participation. Even churches were the umbrella for social outings, mothers’ groups, youth clubs, and even soccer and cricket teams.
A factor in the disappearance of such things is the rise of unlimited home entertainment. With hundreds of possible channels to watch and the infinity that is the Internet, why go out? We’re at risk of becoming no more than isolated individuals. Remember when people would actually talk with each other while waiting in long queues or at bus stops? Now, heads down, they stare at their smartphones with headphones in their ears. Indeed, it’s possible to imagine a contemporary version of the Parable of the Good Samaritan in which one character walks past the mugged and battered man simply because, screen-bound and wired for sound, they didn’t even notice him.
So yes, I’m all in favour of acts of kindness. But let me go further: I think we should seek to make kindness a permanent attitude and not just a temporary action. Random acts of kindness are great but determined actions for kindness are greater still!
J.John
Reverend Canon
